CT's Justice of the Peace & Notary, Sonia I. Osuna-Lofton

"Making Your Day a Memorable Occasion"

Tips on Writing Your Vows

If you are going to say the same vows to one another, it will be more meaningful if you write your vows together. Try the following:

Questions for Writing Your Vows
Print out two copies of these questions. Take one and give the other to your fiancé and take two blank pieces of paper each also. Go to separate rooms to complete these questions. When you are finished, there are more instructions at the bottom.

  1. Write down any scriptures or other readings for your wedding (or make sure to bring them with you).
  2. Write down your favorite lines from any solos being sung at your wedding or from your First Dance song.
  3. Write down any favorite quotes you may have or sayings that have been meaningful to your relationship.
  4. On the blank piece of paper you brought with you, write a letter to your fiancé using the following instructions:
    • Begin with a salutation that is very heartfelt; For example, "My Dearest...” or something to that effect.
    • In the first paragraph, tell him/her how much s/he means to you and your life.
    • Begin the next paragraph with the words, "It seems like only yesterday that..." Run with it.
    • In the next paragraph tell him/her how you felt when you realized you were in love with them.
    • In this paragraph, tell him or her what marriage means to you. What aspects of being married are you looking forward to? What are some of your fears? How are you going to address these fears if and when they come about?
    • Finally, close your letter with words of love and thanksgiving for your significant other.

1.       Now, get back together with your fiancé and switch both this paper and the letters you have written.

2.       When you are finished reading each other's papers, go back through and underline your favorite sentences or words of your fiancé's answers and letter.

3.       Now, discuss.

4.       On another sheet of paper, write down your brainstorms. Start your vows with something close to the effect of "I ______, take you, ______." or, "I ______ choose you, _______". This will get the ball rolling. Continue writing, using the sentences and words you found most meaningful to you and your relationship.

5.       If you need an example of traditional vows, this might help you:

"In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

6.       Now, make a copy of your vows for both of you. Stand up, hold hands, and give it a try. When you read your vows look into his or her eyes and pretend that you are actually standing at your wedding. If you find yourself coming close to tears, your attempts have been a success!

 

First, be certain to do this when you and your fiancé can be alone. You won't want others to disturb you, so ensure that you can have some privacy.  Each of you should grab a stack of paper and a pen or pencil.

  1. Set a time limit for how long you are going work separately. Agree to rejoin each other in a half hour or so.
  2. Go to separate rooms. Make sure you are comfortable and not worried about being disturbed.
  3. Write a letter to your fiancé telling them why you love them. Do not make this short and sweet. Instead, elaborate, go in-depth, and be creative.
  4. Write 2-3 of your favorite times together - the times when you laughed so hard you cried, or when s/he was there for you, or an inside joke, or something that happened long ago that you haven't thought about it in a long time.
  5. Write down the scriptures, quotes, and songs that you are using at your wedding. Reflect on these and write what they mean to you or the most important part of them.
  6. Now, get back together and either switch papers, or take turns reading your letters and stories to one another.
  7. When you are finished crying and hugging and smiling, talk about what you thought were the best parts of each of your letters and stories. Are there a few things you can pick out that you could say as vows? To help you out, most traditional vows go something like this:
  • "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

    Here is an example of how you could write your vows with a "From This Moment" theme:
  • "From this moment, I, Name, take you, Name, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow."
  1. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.
  2. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.

Writing Your Wedding Vows Separately
If you are writing your vows individually try the following:

  1. Get together with your fiancé and first discuss general rules for your vows. For example, about how long they should be (ex. 5 sentences), that they should use the words "I love you" or "You are my best friend", etc. in them. You don't want one of you to write a book of vows while the other just says a few simple things, so make sure to discuss this beforehand.
  2. When you get the chance to be alone, reminisce about how you met, what you felt when you realized you were in love, and how you felt when you decided to get married. Write down descriptive words for these feelings. For example "love", "forever", "journey", etc.
  3. Think about your relationship. Has there been a theme to your relationship, a favorite song, words you enjoy saying to one another? Write these down.
  4. Review how traditional vows are said.
    For example:

·         "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

  1. Now think about how you can bring these things together. Think about what you like about the traditional vows and what you don't like. For the parts you don't like, how could you change them to your own words, to make them better?
  2. Start writing your vows!
  3. If you are still having trouble, try using our Vow Writing Worksheet and apply it to each of your individually. Do not practice your vows together unless you don't mind that they won't be a surprise.
  4. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.
  5. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type both of them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.

Sample Wedding Vows - Starters

  • I, ______, choose you, ______, as my best friend for life.
  • I, ______, choose you, ______, to embark upon this great journey of marriage with me.
  • I, ______, take you, ______, as my soul mate and companion.
  • I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife, my partner, my friend, my confidant, and my soul mate.

Sample Wedding Vows - Middle of your vows

  • Together, we can accomplish anything.
  • Together, we will be better than we could be alone.
  • Together, we will share our love with the world.
  • Together, our love will grow into a bond too strong to break.
  • Our love may be like the ebb and tide of the ocean, but it will always flow.
  • Through the good and bad, I want you to always know that I will be by your side.
  • I will be there for you in the ups and downs of life.
  • I pledge my all to you.

Sample Wedding Vows - Pledges

  • In sickness, I will nurse you back to health. In health, I will encourage you on your path. In sadness, I will help you to remember. In happiness, I will be there make to memories with you. In poverty, I will do all that I can to make our love rich. And in wealth, I will never let our love grow poor.
  • When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me. When you need a helping hand, I want it to be mine. When you long for someone to smile at, turn to me. When you have something to share, share it with me.
  • Though life may not always be as perfect as it is at this moment, I vow to always keep my love as pure as it is today. I promise to be there for you in your laughter and your tears, in your sickness and your health, in your comfort and your fears, in your poverty and your wealth. I know that our love is heaven sent, and I promise to be there for you for all your life, come what may.
  • We have already been through a lot together, and I believe that God has been preparing us for this moment and for our future together. I promise to keep the good memories alive, and to let the bad ones die. I vow not to let the sun go down on our anger, and to treat each morning as a new day to love you, the gift I have been given. I will not forsake you or these vows that we have made, but rather strive to show you my love for the rest of our lives. This is my promise to you.

Sample Wedding Vows - Theme Vows

"Amazed"
I, ______, take you, ______, as my best friend for life. I am so in love with you that I want to promise to stand beside you through thick and thin, through good and bad, through joy and sorrow. I want to spend the rest of my life hearing your thoughts and seeing your dreams. I promise to do my best to make our lives better and better from this day on because I am so amazed by you. This is my solemn vow.

"From This Moment"
From this moment, I, Name, take you, Name, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow.

"1 Corinthians 13"
I, ______, take you, ______, as the love of my life. I vow to be patient with you and the circumstances in our lives. I vow to be kind to all people we come across. I vow not to be boastful of our love or about our accomplishments. I promise to be proud of you, but not proud in love for though I will strive for perfection, I know I can never reach it. I promise not to be quick to anger, but to think before I speak and act. I vow not to keep a record of wrongs, but to always keep the happy memories alive. Through God, our love will never fail.

"Could Not Ask for More"
I, ______, choose you, ______, as my everything. I vow to love you through sickness and health, through the good and the bad, through richer and poorer. You are everything I need, and at this moment I know that all my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. This is the moment I have waited my whole life for. I promise to give you my all and I know that I could not ask for more from you. I love you and always will. This is my solemn vow.

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